


Memories in Winter

by hutchabelle



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Absence, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Holidays, Long-Distance Relationship, Military, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Phone Calls & Telephones, Pining, Regret, Women in the Military
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:13:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28457358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hutchabelle/pseuds/hutchabelle
Summary: Peeta’s alone with only memories to warm him on a cold winter night. Until the phone rings.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34
Collections: Seasons of Everlark— Winter 2020-2021





	Memories in Winter

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Seasons of Everlark, Winter 2020: I would love an Everlark fic based on the Pentatonix song “Coldest Winter”. Any rating. [submitted by anonymous]

Peeta Mellark pressed his forehead to the window and watched as it fogged over from the warm breath escaping his nose and mouth. It was cold outside. It always was in December in the mountains in West Virginia, but this year the temps had hovered in the teens for two weeks, even though there were still ten days left till Christmas.

He couldn’t sleep. It didn’t matter that it was four am or that he had to be at the bakery he helped his father run in an hour. His mind wouldn’t allow him to shut down earlier, so he’d lain awake for hours sifting through memories and missing her so much his insides hurt. He knows she feels the same whenever she has time to remember him.

Katniss Everdeen was his best friend for years before they decided to take their relationship to the next level. They’d been so, so young and naïve and stupid as hell, but they’d also been head over heels for each other as they basked in the throes of young love and few responsibilities. He should have known better. He really should have. He’d had a built-in safety net—a job at the family business—while Katniss struggled to make her way in the world. She’d worried about her career and financial status until she’d finally enlisted in the military to ensure a solid future. There were so few opportunities in their Appalachian town.

Peeta hated her deployment, despised an economy that extended so few options for employment that his best friend, the woman he loved, had no other options than to sign over her body and service and ship out to another continent. She’d become a slave to the government, to those in the capitol. He couldn’t even think about the possibility that she was in danger on top of it all.

It’d been 16 months since he’d seen her in person. Sixteen long months since he’d held her in his arms and felt her body pressed against his. Too long since she’d sighed his name as she welcomed him inside her, since he’d poured his love into her, since they were together and united and blissfully happy.

He didn’t know why he kept waiting, wasn’t sure why he believed it would ever end. He wasn’t this strong. He needed her, and he needed them, and he’d made mistakes, and she’d done things that hurt him. How could they ever overcome any of it, let alone make all the wrongs right?

He didn’t deserve her. He wasn’t sure he deserved anyone after some of the things he’d done, but he wanted her, needed love like he needed air. Man could not live by bread alone. Peeta could feel that truth in his very bones.

Snow whirled outside, coating the trees and scampering along the windowpanes. Clouds obscured the moon and stars, so only weak light from the streetlamps shone. The effect was apocalyptic, turning the world around him a sickly yellow with a reddish hue. Maybe that’s how his life would be from now on. Perhaps he deserved one of despair. How could she ever forgive him, and was it possible for him to accept her after what she’d done to him?

Conflict resolution should be taught in schools. Instead of teaching to a test, teachers should pit students against each other and force them to fight fair through words and sharing feelings and healthy debate. He’d been too passive, too willing to take what was offered instead of what he needed and to give what didn’t help her. If he’d only listened more, he could have been part of the solution instead of the problem.

His forehead was freezing, but he didn’t move. He needed the chill to thaw the numbness. It didn’t make sense, but neither did the way he loved someone he didn’t have. He knew she cared about him, but sometimes love just wasn’t enough.

His phone rang, and he jumped at the sound that penetrated the calm and quiet. He only had a few minutes before he needed to head to work, but a 4:30 am phone call wasn’t normal. He stared at the phone screen, considered the blocked number, and felt his heart thump twice in his chest.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Peeta. Merry Christmas.”

“Katniss,” he sighed. His body relaxed, his eyes pricked with tears, and he sank into the couch from unsteady legs.

“I miss you. I love you. I can’t wait to see you again.”

Her words were balm to his wounds and a salve to his soul. Her voice lilted like music as it escaped her lips, and he felt it wrap around him, binding him up, making him whole. He gripped his phone, his knuckles white, as he clung to the lifeline.

“I miss you, too. Love you, too. Please come home soon.”

“I miss the cold. It’s so hot here. I miss curling up with you. I miss the hot chocolate, and I miss the way you kept me warm when we were stranded that one time.”

He remembers it so clearly it’s like a movie reel plays in his head. Car trouble on a back road. Their frosty breath as they kissed. The way her chilled skin grew heated as they moved together. The way she moaned with him inside her. The euphoria of their climaxes. The sound of his name on her lips. Those three words binding them together. The wash of headlights on the trees when their rescue arrived.

“You still love me. Real or not real?” he asked, his voice husky with remorse and longing.

“Real. It’s always real, Peeta.”

“You’re still trying to protect me.”

“I’m trying to protect everyone. That’s what the military’s supposed to do.”

He closed his eyes. He could barely block the hurt out, but he tried. He really did. He wanted to believe her, needed to know he wasn’t alone in this.

“When will I see you again?”

It was a plaintive cry, but she didn’t scoff. Instead, she told him what he’d been dying to hear.

“I’ll be home in the spring. I have to go, Peeta. We’re moving out soon. I love you.”

“I love you. Stay safe, Katniss.”

He wasn’t sure she heard him before the call disconnected. He only knew she’d given him what he’d been waiting for. She’d be home in the spring. They’d reconnect when the earth was reborn. He’d make her a crown of dandelions and ask her to be queen of his heart. Until then, it was winter, the coldest he could remember. Only memories of her could keep him warm.

**Author's Note:**

> Song Lyrics
> 
> On lonely nights I start to fade  
> Her love's a thousand miles away  
> Memories made in the coldest winter  
> Goodbye my friend will I ever love again  
> Memories made in the coldest winter  
> It's 4 am and I can't sleep  
> Her love is all that I can see  
> Memories made in the coldest winter  
> Goodbye my friend will I ever love again  
> Memories made in the coldest winter  
> Goodbye my friend will I ever love again  
> If spring can take the snow away  
> (If spring can take the snow away)  
> Can it melt away all of our mistakes  
> (Can it melt away all of our mistakes)  
> Memories made in the coldest winter  
> Goodbye my friend (goodbye my friend)  
> Will I ever love again  
> Memories made in the coldest winter  
> Goodbye my friend I won't ever love again  
> Memories made in the coldest winter


End file.
